gonna end it all tonight

quite interested in checking my mental health rn. even though im fine as of now, whenever im in a new social setting i would feel quite uncomfortable, like for example when i first entered a new class i couldnt think straight

or perhaps its just my brain? who knows. maybe im just overreacting and overthinking a lot while also having quite an amount of insecurities, but now i feel more confident with myself (especially with my looks, though i still have many insecurities with that but the beauty standards are just too cruel)

for any of yall who are also dealing with insecurities, please keep in mind that everyone is special in their own ways and that applies to you too ^^

why do i feel so childish for writing this

doing good rn

-

Nikolai wrote: 386vt

gonna end it all tonight

tomorrow will be a good day

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

Nikolai wrote: 386vt

gonna end it all tonight

tomorrow will be a good day

it seems my mental health is not that bad yet, although of course it is not perfect, but maybe a little talk with a psychologist wouldn't be a bad idea

i feel like it's only going bad when i didn't go outside the entire day

I NEED THAT SUNLIGHT ON MY SKIN!!!

Dementedjet wrote: 3k6k1y

UPR wrote: 4w1w33

People actually check their mental health? That's crazy, I can not relate honestly

Facts

Being aware of your mental health?💀 Nah that's cringe

I prefer to just have a couple of words when I have a bad day, like бл***, с*** and others

That's what I call the best therapy

I prefer to just accept being a robot, means I can basically focus on specifically what I want and the need to worry is never there

🐟Fish🐟

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

i feel like it's only going bad when i didn't go outside the entire day

I NEED THAT SUNLIGHT ON MY SKIN!!!

you cant take a day without sunlight? in the pandemic the sun did not touch me for 2 or 3 months

Reyalp51 wrote: 5i14

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

i feel like it's only going bad when i didn't go outside the entire day

I NEED THAT SUNLIGHT ON MY SKIN!!!

you cant take a day without sunlight? in the pandemic the sun did not touch me for 2 or 3 months

It was a disaster

cephaphysic wrote: 4c1b2t

i kinda wish i could be totally normal sometimes, but it seems impossible to achieve

Yeah, there are some things we can't change about ourselves, gotta adapt but it's not always easy

-

I am as mentally stable as Kinger from the amazing digital circus

I feel really weird from the inside when I read the old OT posts that were created by me. I feel quite sad. I'll just forget them.

Rhthym32 wrote: 6d4q4u

I feel really weird from the inside when I read the old OT posts that were created by me. I feel quite sad. I'll just forget them.

Cringing at what you did in the past means you grew up somewhat, it's good
It's not good when it happens to things you did 30 minutes ago though

cephaphysic wrote: 4c1b2t

Karmine wrote: 4i703u

cephaphysic wrote: 4c1b2t

i kinda wish i could be totally normal sometimes, but it seems impossible to achieve

Yeah, there are some things we can't change about ourselves, gotta adapt but it's not always easy

i refuse to go into detail (it's for good reason), but it's painfully awkward knowing the ways you're expected to feel and think, and simply not feeling/thinking those ways. that, and basically not existing to the vast majority of people

I don't know about the first part but definitely do about the second

Rhthym32 wrote: 6d4q4u

I feel really weird from the inside when I read the old OT posts that were created by me. I feel quite sad. I'll just forget them.

The past was the past

Yeah, I'll try my best to forget them and move on. But still a small amount of it will be ed.

pretty stressed, and i aware that i gave myself the stress
got busy with the competitions and exams that i signed myself up, but now i'm trying my best not to get hospitalised (whether it's for when i go insane or out from anemia/hemolysis).
but i'm still recovering, at least i'm still alive, not sure if i'm really grateful about it but ok :/

misswatterson wrote: 5r1y73

pretty stressed, and i aware that i gave myself the stress
got busy with the competitions and exams that i signed myself up, but now i'm trying my best not to get hospitalised (whether it's for when i go insane or out from anemia/hemolysis).
but i'm still recovering, at least i'm still alive, not sure if i'm really grateful about it but ok :/

i hope everything gets better for you soon... stay strong <3

-

brain empty

The short term satisfaction you feel when playing osu! is only a temporary escape to your long term loneliness, as none of these scores will ever matter in the end. Your addiction has broken you mentally, yet you refuse to acknowledge the problem. Soon it will be too late to save yourself...

i'm mentally disfunctioned

My Angel Anaxii wrote: 5617d

i'm mentally disfunctioned

young brain are always the worse ones

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

My Angel Anaxii wrote: 5617d

i'm mentally disfunctioned

young brain are always the worse ones

So that's why you're like that
Makes sense tbh lol

Dementedduck wrote: v5h44

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

My Angel Anaxii wrote: 5617d

i'm mentally disfunctioned

young brain are always the worse ones

So that's why you're like that
Makes sense tbh lol

🐡FISH🐡

Dementedduck wrote: v5h44

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

My Angel Anaxii wrote: 5617d

i'm mentally disfunctioned

young brain are always the worse ones

So that's why you're like that
Makes sense tbh lol

I am mentally okay btw
, I am very smart uwu

Dementedduck wrote: v5h44

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

My Angel Anaxii wrote: 5617d

i'm mentally disfunctioned

young brain are always the worse ones

So that's why you're like that
Makes sense tbh lol

I didn't have the balls to reply, thanks duck

Karmine wrote: 4i703u

Dementedduck wrote: v5h44

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

My Angel Anaxii wrote: 5617d

i'm mentally disfunctioned

young brain are always the worse ones

So that's why you're like that
Makes sense tbh lol

I didn't have the balls to reply, thanks duck

The balls?

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

Karmine wrote: 4i703u

Dementedduck wrote: v5h44

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

My Angel Anaxii wrote: 5617d

i'm mentally disfunctioned

young brain are always the worse ones

So that's why you're like that
Makes sense tbh lol

I didn't have the balls to reply, thanks duck

The balls?

Karmine wrote: 4i703u

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

Karmine wrote: 4i703u

Dementedduck wrote: v5h44

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

My Angel Anaxii wrote: 5617d

i'm mentally disfunctioned

young brain are always the worse ones

So that's why you're like that
Makes sense tbh lol

I didn't have the balls to reply, thanks duck

The balls?

I prefer that yeah

I'm stressed because I have exams tomorrow

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

I'm stressed because I have exams tomorrow

you can do it ^^

btw last week where i had to do 3 exams lol
I sadly got an F on the second one and I didn't even get the third one yet lol
the first was an A though

My Angel Anaxii wrote: 5617d

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

I'm stressed because I have exams tomorrow

you can do it ^^

btw last week where i had to do 3 exams lol
I sadly got an F on the second one and I didn't even get the third one yet lol
the first was an A though

UPDATE: It went well but I still have some exams LOL

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

My Angel Anaxii wrote: 5617d

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

I'm stressed because I have exams tomorrow

you can do it ^^

btw last week where i had to do 3 exams lol
I sadly got an F on the second one and I didn't even get the third one yet lol
the first was an A though

UPDATE: It went well but I still have some exams LOL

so that must be why you were offline all day yesterday ;v;

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

My Angel Anaxii wrote: 5617d

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

I'm stressed because I have exams tomorrow

you can do it ^^

btw last week where i had to do 3 exams lol
I sadly got an F on the second one and I didn't even get the third one yet lol
the first was an A though

UPDATE: It went well but I still have some exams LOL

so that must be why you were offline all day yesterday ;v;

nope, it was because i was silenced lol (i discovered that this morning)

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

My Angel Anaxii wrote: 5617d

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

I'm stressed because I have exams tomorrow

you can do it ^^

btw last week where i had to do 3 exams lol
I sadly got an F on the second one and I didn't even get the third one yet lol
the first was an A though

UPDATE: It went well but I still have some exams LOL

so that must be why you were offline all day yesterday ;v;

nope, it was because i was silenced lol (i discovered that this morning)

what wha

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

My Angel Anaxii wrote: 5617d

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

I'm stressed because I have exams tomorrow

you can do it ^^

btw last week where i had to do 3 exams lol
I sadly got an F on the second one and I didn't even get the third one yet lol
the first was an A though

UPDATE: It went well but I still have some exams LOL

so that must be why you were offline all day yesterday ;v;

nope, it was because i was silenced lol (i discovered that this morning)

what wha

yeah

and for a dumb reason

This weekend is about to test me hard, glad I already planned to go get myself checked out

so far i haven't been mentally ill! (even though i'm physically ill ;3;)

Dementedduck wrote: v5h44

yooo this is me the next day after a schizopost

Me when I have an appointment planned for next Thursday

Im feeling depressed as shit rn however im not gonna go into details cs im not a lonely ass middle schooler anymore

ShieldMouse wrote: 2f4b1v

Im feeling depressed as shit rn however im not gonna go into details cs im not a lonely ass middle schooler anymore

This is way funnier to me that it should be, good luck man.

ShieldMouse wrote: 2f4b1v

Im feeling depressed as shit rn however im not gonna go into details cs im not a lonely ass middle schooler anymore

damn hope ur going to get better

at this point I just want to go on winter break man

good thing it is just a day away!!

my face rn

-

imagine being mentally stable and healthy (ancient myth)

i hioe you all are gonna be somewhat oki tho ^^

Had an appointment with a psychiatrist yesterday, and got prescribed anti-depressants, guess I will see if it will help me over time

im somewhat stressed because of tomorrow

as we're watching the boy and the heron and fear if the tickets get sold out

im completely insane 🔥🔥

Steeven wrote: 5lm5z

im completely insane 🔥🔥

most insane boccher fan

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

Steeven wrote: 5lm5z

im completely insane 🔥🔥

most insane boccher fan

omg hi steven strabgled red im joking i promise but anyway hiya steeven

Sounds like a new website, as long as it's not Discord i'm interested

In of mental health, I'm not a doctor, but from my research, it starts with your plate. This is my opinion, so get professional opinions on this matter.

The food we eat has been poisoned with all kinds of chemicals, some of them linked to mental health issues (like fast food linked to depression, wheat linked to schizophrenia, many more like that). This is especially true when it's in line with an autoimmune issue as well. You can change that by changing what's on your plate (for example, from chemical-laden foods and major food allergies to a gluten-free, bovine dairy-free, soy-free and refined sugar-free diet like I am, or a low carb diet like Keto or Paleo).

i'm feeling like a bucket

not doing my best (temporarily)

hormones and not seeing friends and sunlight and stuff due to weather sucks. procrastinating on school work (had to do e-learning because of a blizzard and we only had school 2 out of 5 days this week, and both days were 2 hour delay days... and when i do work at home i have no motivation at all)
also other stuff too but still

otherwise i'm okay

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

i'm feeling like a bucket

now feeling like i'm going to out

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

i'm feeling like a bucket

now feeling like i'm going to out

are you okay?

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

i'm feeling like a bucket

now feeling like i'm going to out

are you okay?

oh no don't worry, i just can't stay awake at 1AM lol

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

i'm feeling like a bucket

now feeling like i'm going to out

are you okay?

oh no don't worry, i just can't stay awake at 1AM lol

ah okay
glad you're okay <3

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

i'm feeling like a bucket

now feeling like i'm going to out

are you okay?

oh no don't worry, i just can't stay awake at 1AM lol

ah okay
glad you're okay <3

we love being okay <3

GOOD

i'm feeling tired lol

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

i'm feeling tired lol

same

B0ii wrote: 334pr

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

i'm feeling tired lol

same

i mean, i always feel tired when i have to wake up at 7am because of school so yeah

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

B0ii wrote: 334pr

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

i'm feeling tired lol

same

i mean, i always feel tired when i have to wake up at 7am because of school so yeah

6 am here, because the ride to my school is long ;-;

one attempt a true autist (diagnosed as a kid)
way better now since I am shredded I therefore can't be sad

B0ii wrote: 334pr

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

B0ii wrote: 334pr

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

i'm feeling tired lol

same

i mean, i always feel tired when i have to wake up at 7am because of school so yeah

6 am here, because the ride to my school is long ;-;

damn strength on you man

-

cephaphysic wrote: 4c1b2t

looking in the mirror is really uncomfortable when the person looking back doesn't feel like you at all

this does happen to me whenever i wake up at 3am and go get something to drink instead of sleeping like a normal human being 😄🔫

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

cephaphysic wrote: 4c1b2t

looking in the mirror is really uncomfortable when the person looking back doesn't feel like you at all

this does happen to me whenever i wake up at 3am and go get something to drink instead of sleeping like a normal human being 😄🔫

drinking wataer makes your kidney start to 'active' work and you are probably sensitive enough to wake up just by drinking water

__scripting wrote: h396s

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

cephaphysic wrote: 4c1b2t

looking in the mirror is really uncomfortable when the person looking back doesn't feel like you at all

this does happen to me whenever i wake up at 3am and go get something to drink instead of sleeping like a normal human being 😄🔫

drinking wataer makes your kidney start to 'active' work and you are probably sensitive enough to wake up just by drinking water

is it the reason why i drink too much water in general? (like 2 large water bottles a day)

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

__scripting wrote: h396s

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

cephaphysic wrote: 4c1b2t

looking in the mirror is really uncomfortable when the person looking back doesn't feel like you at all

this does happen to me whenever i wake up at 3am and go get something to drink instead of sleeping like a normal human being 😄🔫

drinking wataer makes your kidney start to 'active' work and you are probably sensitive enough to wake up just by drinking water

is it the reason why i drink too much water in general? (like 2 large water bottles a day)

maybe

i feel icky :'(

-

__scripting wrote: h396s

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

__scripting wrote: h396s

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

cephaphysic wrote: 4c1b2t

looking in the mirror is really uncomfortable when the person looking back doesn't feel like you at all

this does happen to me whenever i wake up at 3am and go get something to drink instead of sleeping like a normal human being 😄🔫

drinking wataer makes your kidney start to 'active' work and you are probably sensitive enough to wake up just by drinking water

is it the reason why i drink too much water in general? (like 2 large water bottles a day)

maybe

I HATE MY KIDNEY THEN

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

i feel icky :'(

strength on ya bestie <33333

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

i feel icky :'(

strength on ya bestie <33333

tysm bestie <3333
my tummy hurts, my head hurts, and i feel emotional rn
plus im a bit stressed... but my friend said they'd take me and my other friends on a drive tonight, so if that helps i'll be sure to let ya'll know here

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

i feel icky :'(

strength on ya bestie <33333

tysm bestie <3333
my tummy hurts, my head hurts, and i feel emotional rn
plus im a bit stressed... but my friend said they'd take me and my other friends on a drive tonight, so if that helps i'll be sure to let ya'll know here

i would say that the best thing would be to stay home, but if it helps you feel better then go for it!

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

i feel icky :'(

strength on ya bestie <33333

tysm bestie <3333
my tummy hurts, my head hurts, and i feel emotional rn
plus im a bit stressed... but my friend said they'd take me and my other friends on a drive tonight, so if that helps i'll be sure to let ya'll know here

i would say that the best thing would be to stay home, but if it helps you feel better then go for it!

driving around at night with my friends calms me down for some reason
it's strange, i know, but it always helps! so that's what i'll do soon :>
sooo... bye for now ig?

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

i feel icky :'(

strength on ya bestie <33333

tysm bestie <3333
my tummy hurts, my head hurts, and i feel emotional rn
plus im a bit stressed... but my friend said they'd take me and my other friends on a drive tonight, so if that helps i'll be sure to let ya'll know here

i would say that the best thing would be to stay home, but if it helps you feel better then go for it!

driving around at night with my friends calms me down for some reason
it's strange, i know, but it always helps! so that's what i'll do soon :>
sooo... bye for now ig?

see you next time then, and take care <3333

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

Anaxii wrote: v2e29

lostsilver wrote: 3v6x3l

i feel icky :'(

strength on ya bestie <33333

tysm bestie <3333
my tummy hurts, my head hurts, and i feel emotional rn
plus im a bit stressed... but my friend said they'd take me and my other friends on a drive tonight, so if that helps i'll be sure to let ya'll know here

i would say that the best thing would be to stay home, but if it helps you feel better then go for it!

driving around at night with my friends calms me down for some reason
it's strange, i know, but it always helps! so that's what i'll do soon :>
sooo... bye for now ig?

see you next time then, and take care <3333

you too buddy <333333
(im still gonna be here for a lil while, then imma go on a drive so ye :p)

forgor to say that i hath returned
the drive really helped me calm down, and i almost fell asleep while we were driving around haha (i was in the backseat)

feeling good

thank God for the day!

After a weird few days, I have become fully guarded with people again. I am okay with it

felt weird that i'm starting to do more maths whenever i'm really stressed about having to communicate with people
which is weird, i'd get 50% of it wrong anyways

Feel like punching a wall sometimes

Gone full circle, I am at peace with my unstable mind and look forward to the constant battle needed to keep it from making me go into my moods

i feel like crying rn

i hope everyone here is doing okay
i hope you all have a wonderful day/night <333

-

cephaphysic wrote: 4c1b2t

feeling weirdly paradoxical rn

I thought you were always paradoxical

There is a bit too much organisation going on. I'm going to
1. give my apartment a whole make-over
2. incoming big job changes and
3. planning a website for people who found an animal in need of help (it's related to the voluntary work I used to do a few months ago and I like to change things to the better).
yes it's stressing but let's see where this goes~

-

feeling great tonight

thank God for the day!

Lyawi wrote: lj38

There is a bit too much organisation going on. I'm going to
1. give my apartment a whole make-over
2. incoming big job changes and
3. planning a website for people who found an animal in need of help (it's related to the voluntary work I used to do a few months ago and I like to change things to the better).
yes it's stressing but let's see where this goes~

i'd also like to have such a busy life when i grow up, it looks so ✨INTERESTING✨

Lyawi wrote: lj38

There is a bit too much organisation going on. I'm going to
1. give my apartment a whole make-over
2. incoming big job changes and
3. planning a website for people who found an animal in need of help (it's related to the voluntary work I used to do a few months ago and I like to change things to the better).
yes it's stressing but let's see where this goes~

gl

Lyawi wrote: lj38

There is a bit too much organisation going on. I'm going to
1. give my apartment a whole make-over
2. incoming big job changes and
3. planning a website for people who found an animal in need of help (it's related to the voluntary work I used to do a few months ago and I like to change things to the better).
yes it's stressing but let's see where this goes~

good luck lyawi
we're all cheering you on!! <33

lost my airpod case where could it be i cant live withhout music at school 😞☹️