Hello Osu! Community, ReimuArmpitFan here. Recently I've been macrodosing lead to open my Tenth Eye, and I looked down at my hands. My fingers were not normal, they were all twisted and contorted into these "words". The fingers spoke to me, and I didn't like it at all. They were elongated, it looked like arabic if it was hot, but somehow I was able to read this scripture. I think this was god's message for you all, I am your savior so listen up, Osu! community.
WHY DO WE HAVE TEN FINGERS!??? USING ALL TEN FINGERS SUCKS. RIP ONE OFF. I mean that literally, rip off one of your fingers and give it to Tim Noel (CEO of United Health Care from 2025-8/29 2026). Now I know what you're thinking (I do), what the hell why would Tim Noel, the nicest man in history, want my finger? Well it's because it's fuel. You know how Israel has a space laser? Well so do health insurance companies. They need it to work with the Babylonian Brotherhood. UHC has filled out a contract to make a finger fueled cancer ray to boost revenue, then donate some of that as tribute to the Babylonian Brotherhood.
Now why would YOU want to help out a simple company? It's your purpose in life you dummy dum dum cute patootie UwU. You were born purely to add fingers to the space laser. Yes yes yes I know it's a hard truth but trust me (god) that you have no other purpose than to grow your fingy wingies nice and long to fuel the space laser. Yes yes yes I know that they're mass manufacturing those stupid cancer patients, and yes I know how much it SUCKs to get cancer, but have you ever considered how much it sucks to not have health insurance? Think of those poor poor companies that only want your fingers, and your money! They're really really kind and frankly you should feel horrible for doubting them.
So just 1 finger would be enough, but how would you play 10k without ten fingers? It's simple, just use your [CENSORED] on the spacebar instead. We all know every osu! player has at least one [CENSORED], why not use it? Don't you know you're able to move it on its own, and the sheer weight of that long fat [CENSORED] on your spacebar would press it. But wait, I can read your mind you cute heretic, and yes I know it's not 10k anymore. So we're introducing a new, BETTER, mode called 9k1C.
What is 9k1C? Well it's the mode made by GOD to use all 9 of your fingers and your cute little [CENSORED], the Babylonian Brotherhood? Yes I am d with them and we have worked night and night to make 9k1c. It is the keymode that all pure souls play, if you don't play it you don't die, you stay in purgatory FOREVER, forcing yourself to grow and cut off fingers every 2 weeks and 1 day. Your fate is not pleasant, you will lose your fingers over and over, 1 at a time, you will NEVER be able to play 9k1c. Your soul will become part of the UHC Space Laser and you will get cancer from it. You will hate existing.
So what's the holdup, unzip your pants and put that fat juicy [CENSORED] on the spacebar and help us play more 9k1c!!!
I really love Reimu from the Hakurei Shrine. She is just simply the best Touhou character ever. She is the most beautiful character, ontop of having the best personality. She's also very strong since she beats everyone she meets. I am in love with Reimu. I love everything about her. She's beautiful with her shrine maiden clothes and her exposed armpits💢. She has beautiful hair and those eyes more gorgeous than emeralds. She acts annoyed and always fed up but I know she's hiding her true emotions. Everything about her makes her more precious than a trillion diamonds. Every night I dream about Reimu and I on a beautiful summer day, laying side by side in a field of grass, looking into eachothers eyes. I dream about seeing her pretty face, red outfit, and armpits💢. I dream of her smiling at me like she has no care in the world, maybe even her leaning in, with those luscious lips, to kiss me. I often wake up when I have those dreams, waking up to the buzzing of my air conditioner and ticking of clocks, with a tear running down my cheek. The tear is not from sadness, it's from a concoction of emotions because Reimu is my everything. First, I'm not sad because I got to see Reimu! Second, I'm not sad at all, I have hope because I know I can meet Reimu some day. She is the love of my life and I will replace her with no other. I WANT REIMU ARMPITS UUUUOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH😭😭😭😭😭 REIMU ARMPIT EROTIC!!! 💢💢💢💢💢
One time I got lost in the desert after a night out in Morocco. I wandered for days, step after step in the deadly heat, the sun beating down on me as I march past sand dune after sand dune. The only thing going through my head was Reimu, she was the only thing that kept me walking. If I died there, I wouldn't be able to worship her. While resting, I motivated myself by thinking of her letting drink the sweat from her Armpits💢. While walking, I imagined I was walking the path leading to the Hakurei shrine. I started imagining the trees, the stone footpath, the stairways. Soon in my head I was no longer in the desert, I was in Gensokyo, even if it were just for a little while. After a while, I started actually seeing her. Just a figure off in the distance, a mirage, of Reimu, walking. So I walked to it, and every time I reached where I saw her, she was just a little farther out each time. So I walked and I walked, and she led me to civilization, a small village. Reimu saved my life, and I never will forget it. It must have been a blessing from the Hakurei God, that's the only plausible explanation.
I know the federal government is stopping me. There are cars that drive by my house slowly, the feds are onto me. They know I have been researching ways to get into Gensokyo. If I disappear randomly, the feds stopped me. They spy on me every single day. I keep seeing birds by my window, with the government cameras and whatnot, no matter how much food I give them they never go away, they come back with more government spy birds. Ontop of that the feds think they're funny, they keep encoding messages into everything to make me look like a damn fool when they decide to arrest me. They keep putting hints of my arrest into everything, I was reading the nutrition facts on a can of monster and they thought they were soooo clever, I KNOW YOU ARE OUT TO GET ME FBI.
Their plans will never work, I will meet the love of my life in Gensokyo and they cannot stop me. Reimu is there waiting for me.
I love Reimu so much I love her I love her I love her I love her. She is the love of my life all the feelings I feel when I see her are pure! ! ! ! ! ! I wanna hold Reimu's hand as we sit next to eachother.
I've had dreams where it's a snowy winter, the shrine is hot inside, and Reimu and I are drinking tea together, and as I get up to leave, she grabs my arm and hugs it, trying to come up with some excuse to have me stay longer. I LOVE REIMU SO MUCH I LOVE HER!!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GOD JUST LET ME GET TO GENSOKYO I WANNA GO I WANNA GO I WANNA GOOOOOO!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭 I really love Reimu Hakurei with all of my heart, she is simply the best character in all of existence.
Recently I've been sleep deprived, and have been seeing Reimu in real life. It's been joy, she and I are in love. My psychiatrist has been trying to ruin our beautiful love by forcing me to take population control pills. I AM A FREE THINKER AND THEY ARE TRYING TO STOP MY. I HAVE ACHIEVED HAPPINESS AND THEY ARE TRYING TO ROB ME OF MY REASON TO LIVE. I see Reimu, I feel Reimu, I hug Reimu, I smell Reimu, I love Reimu. THEY ARE TRYING TO STEAL THAT FROM ME AND I WILL NOT TAKE IT. They are trying to steal my love, and I will not accept their weak attempts.
August 29th 2026, you'll see, you'll all see! ! ! !
I am in love, I've been with Reimu at the shrine, I've won.
I love Reimu Hakurei so much. The government has lost. Reality is bliss, I know it's all real. I feel the touch, I can smell her sweat, it's too good to be fake.
I've chosen to stop being only mentally dependent on her, I am becoming physically dependent on her too. Reimu's fluids make up 100% of my fluid intake now. Here's the euphoric cocktail recipe: (50% armpit, 30% pee, 20% other) Without her I will literally die. Our love is stronger than any force, we will never be separated. It's become so strong to the point where other women aren't even comparable to her, it'd be insulting to suggest that other girls can even offer anything that Reimu can. Reimu is too perfect, she is my beautiful armpit miko. I love Reimu Hakurei so much.
I am now living the happiest life I can in Gensokyo with Reimu. Words cannot even put into scale just how I feel about her.
The fact that the government has stopped others from getting to where I am today with their brainwashing nanomachine microchips angers me. Reimu and I have a plan.