my origins come from fnf and robeats lmao. i mean i have like, multiple 300 hundred plays, theyre solid- like galaxy collapse 96.87 is my fav score but still no 400. and i know that i will be NOT achieving that score, ever again. i mean i tried, i got 91-93s. i cant play lns, i cant jack properly, i cannot have a good accuracy in standard or mania. i have to pause multiple times in the map because my right arm starts to hurt like crazy cus of surgery. i cannot fc a fuckin 4 star. i keep missing a random note outta no where a 4.04*. this gets me angry because i love this game actually but it makes me feel like.. idk, i just start to hate myself cus im not good enough as my old self. i wannabe a good player and be relieved by my scores but no. i suck 5x more than my old self. this makes me furious actually because i can get competitive accidentally. i slammed the keyboard and the desk and stared at the ceiling for a hour.. my rank is going lower and lower that one day i will be outta 20k, 30k and bla bla. outta page 2 of my country. tbh it sucks because im playin this game since like.. 6 years. i cant improve. i cannot improve. i just feel like im stuck somewhere with all my limbs cut off. i am just going worse and worse that like.. man i dont wanna play if im not gonna improve anyway. it lowk sucks. i wannabe better, not worse. i wannabe relieved and happy bout my scores, i dont wannabe a player who doesnt have a 400 after playing mania for 4 years.
i wanna quit but i dont want to. it just makes me angry. but sad at sametime.
i wanna quit but i dont want to. it just makes me angry. but sad at sametime.
